“When our days become dreary with low hovering clouds of despair, and when our nights become darker than a thousand midnights, let us remember that there is a creative force in this universe, working to pull down the gigantic mountains of evil, a power that is able to make a way out of no way and transform dark yesterdays into bright tomorrows. Let us realize the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.” — Martin Luther King Jr.
shortly after i arrived back in the states i went and saw a band called ‘the head and the heart’. during this show i did my fair share of foot taping, swaying, yelping, and smiling. all good things. they closed with a song entitled ‘rivers and roads’. lyrically and musically this song blew me away. the song is made up of 3 simple chords, but the lyrics seem to hit me in that sweet spot (especially these days). at the end of the song the bands female vocalist sings a beautiful refrain. when she first broke into that refrain i believe the word “wow” came out of my mouth. the greatest tragedy was that this song hadn’t been released, but there was some tasty videos of them playing the song in wonderful places on vimeo. i may be responsible for the majority of their play count.
the other day i was reading through one of my favorite music blogs and i was informed that the head and the heart signed with the record label ‘sub pop’ and that they were re-releasing the album that they had previously released independently. the best news was that on this re-released album they were including the recently recorder ‘rivers and roads’. the song is now in my itunes and is frequently radiating in my eardrums, which makes me happy.
here is a lovely version of the song.
today me and kevin had a wonderful sing-a-long in his car to this song and it was wonderful
in other news…i deleted my facebook. it’s been a wonderful and liberating experience.
hey folks, shoot me an email. brianvoortman@gmail.com
here is a link to some staggering facts displayed in a visually appealing way.
i’ve been home for a little over 3 weeks now, and of course there has been those people who simply ask “how was it?”. I’m not mad, but that question elicits a simple one word answer which is impossible. and then there are those who genuinely care and will listen to my stories that really are not great stories, but mean a lot to me. so thanks for listening.
but i’m discovering that it’s hard to describe, or put into words, a time of significant transformation, or whatever you want to call it. some things happened to me in 2010 that i will never forget. some things happened that will forever play a part in whoever it is i have become when i die.
so these days i’m left with fewer answers and more questions, and my favorite people are those who only say what needs to be said, you know, those people who don’t really waste their words (WHAT A VIRTUE!!!!!!). these thoughts and ideas that have been rattling around in my skull for the 9 months i was away need to come to fruition in my life here in the states. they came a lot easier in lesotho for some reason, but bringing these things to fruition here in the states is proving to be a difficult task. i could speculate as to why this is true, but that doesn’t really matter.
another question i’ve been asked a lot lately is “so what’s next?” and my answer is “i’m trying to be obedient to god and what he wants from me. currently, i have no idea what that looks like.” but i have some ideas.
A friend shared this with me.
It did something.
- Midnight, Christians, it is the solemn hour,
- When God-man descended to us
- To erase the stain of original sin
- And to end the wrath of His Father.
- The entire world thrills with hope
- On this night that gives it a Savior.
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- People kneel down, wait for your deliverance.
- Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer,
- Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer!
- May the ardent light of our Faith
- Guide us all to the cradle of the infant,
- As in ancient times a brilliant star
- Guided the Oriental kings there.
- The King of Kings was born in a humble manger;
- O mighty ones of today, proud of your greatness,
-
- It is to your pride that God preaches.
- Bow your heads before the Redeemer!
- Bow your heads before the Redeemer!
- The Redeemer has overcome every obstacle:
- The Earth is free, and Heaven is open.
- He sees a brother where there was only a slave,
- Love unites those that iron had chained.
- Who will tell Him of our gratitude,
- For all of us He is born, He suffers and dies.
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- People stand up! Sing of your deliverance,
- Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer,
- Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer!
- Merry Christmas
leaving for the airport in a few hours. see you soon california.
no seriously though. i got robbed. at gunpoint. how cool!
i got home around 8:15 pm, said goodnight to sechaba and went to my room the read for a while before i would fall asleep. i was in the middle of a chapter and around 9 sechaba knocks on my door. there was a bit of urgency in his knock and he said “brian! its sechaba. open up”. so i went to the door and opened it.
as soon as i unlocked the door 5 or 6 (i forgot to country. sorry) guys with masks on came rushing into my house pushing me into my living room. 1 or maybe 2 of them had guns, and the others had crow bars or other metal things that would hurt if you got hit with them.
i moved all of my stuff out of my house on tuesday. in my living room there is a mattress on the floor and all my luggage scattered around the floor getting ready to be packed.
i think these “robbers” (they proved to be horrible robbers) were a little surprised to see so little in a house. as they started rummaging through my stuff i decided to get out of their way, so i sat down against the wall (i have no chairs to sit in). the whole time sechaba is talking to them in sesotho. it almost appears like he is arguing with them and trying to convince them not to take stuff.
they picked up my ipod and asked “what is this?” sechaba told them that i stored information on it and that they couldn’t take it. they said “ok” and gave it back. HA! then they picked up my video camera and sechaba told them they couldn’t have that either so they left it. stupid robbers. they emptied my wallet of the 90 rand (approximately $15) and they started asking about my cards. i told them that the first one was my ATM card and that it barely had any money on it (which is true) and i told them they could have it, but they didn’t want it. then looked at the credit card. i told them that it would work unless you have my ID card. so they left that too.
by this time i realized that i was not going to get hurt. these guys were actually quite nice about the whole thing. so i started giggling a bit because i just couldn’t believe this was happening to me. i was feeling nice and comfortable and trying to take it all in.
sechaba had been house sitting my neighbors place and he was watching ghost busters when this whole ordeal started and it was still on when they took us over to my neighbor’s house. they told us to sit down and sit still, so i sat down and enjoyed a few minutes of ghost busters as sechaba continued to convince them to not take stuff. (he did a good job) I was feeling so comfortable with my new robber friends that i decided to have a bit of fun. i was sitting there watching ghost busters and all this stress brought about a craving for a cigarette. i had one in my front pocket (they sell them 1 at a time on the streets here) (a nice feature for those who enjoy the occasional cigarette and don’t want to get addicted to them again) (and you can get 1 cig for 1 rand 50 which is like 10 cents) so i asked my robber friend if i could step out side and enjoy my cigarette. he politely declined and told me to stay seated.
they were working their way through the kitchen. they were hungry. when they first burst into my house they told me they were hungry and if we gave them 1000 rand they would leave. i didn’t have that so they started ransacking the fridge.
one guy had a very appetizing carton of orange juice he had taken from my neighbors fridge. all this commotion made me thirsty, so i asked him for some of his orange juice (it used to be my neighbors, but now it was his) he said “no, it’s mine now”. so i let go.
i also had to pee pretty badly so i asked if i could go pee. he didn’t trust me in the bathroom by myself so he let me go outside and i peed on the lawn so that he could see if i was going to escape.
i got back and sat down and watched ghost busters while these guys made their way through the house. they got away with a laptop (not mine. i decided to leave mine at work for some reason. i never do that) and me and sechaba’s cash amounting to a measly 150 rand (approximately $26), a jar full of coins, some food and a carton full of delicious looking orange juice, which they didn’t feel like sharing. so ungrateful.
after they left sechaba was telling me that he recognize one of the guys. we called the police they came and asked some questions and then sechaba realized where he knew this guy from. the guy who was doing most of the talking worked (apparently, according to sechaba) at a spice shop where sechaba buys all his spices. so we told the cops that and their checking it out today.
one of my goals in life is to be old and have cool stories. about 3 minutes into this ordeal i realized i would be fine and so i started to get a bit excited that this was happening to me, only because it was going to be a good story.
good thing i changed my ticket and stayed an extra week or else this would have never happened to me.
it’s a bit hard to believe that 9 months have passed since i first left california. i keep getting asked if i’m excited to leave. no. no i’m not at all excited, but at the same time i’m excited to be home. i don’t like this tug and pull stuff. i realize that no matter where i am in the world i will always be missing somewhere else. and no matter the friends i have around me i will be missing friends somewhere else.
the thing i’ve come to fall in love with about this place is that i feel more here. i have moments of pure joy where i just start giggling at how groovy life is. i also have moments of deep sadness.
yesterday i helped dig a grave that was entirely to small. and shortly after the grave was finished we laid a coffin in the grave that was entirely to small. a 3 ½ by 2 ft. grave a bit deeper than the hight of my knee was enough to contain the remains of this little child. this little girl lived a short 5 months and the majority of that time was spent in a hospital fighting to stay alive. so today isn’t the most joyful day, but life is vivid today. life has been pretty vivid for the past 9 months, and i think that is what i really want to take away from this place. i don’t want to become numb again. i want life to stay vivid and beautiful, and i want to continue to feel. that means feeling sorrow, feeling joy and everything in-between.
the other day i was moving out of my house. this little house means a lot to me. it’s the house that has sheltered me during these 9 transformational months. the house was nearly empty and looked different than it ever had before. i was packing up my books and kind of remembering them all and the places they have taken me, and the characters who have changed me, and the wisdom that has guided me. and i began thinking about who i was and who i’ve become.
a friend of mine sent me an email. we both have had pretty transformational years and she was telling me how she doesn’t know me anymore. (this is a good thing) she doesn’t really know me and i don’t really know her anymore because the people god has been changing us into are different from the people we were when we left. i assure you i am still me, it’s just that this me is different than me has ever been. at least i hope it is. i mean that was part of the point. to leave and then come back different. so i hope you wont know me anymore. i am me, i just hope that you (my friends, family, so on and so forth) will notice that some of the rubbish has been burnt away.
today. yes! today.
today is the perfect day,
to leave for j-bay.
-brian voortman
thank you
i don’t remember how old i was when i first watched endless summer II, but ever since then i’ve wanted to go to jeffrey’s bay south africa. some describe jeffrey’s as the best right hand point break in the world. well, me and dillon bought our bus tickets to jeffrey’s last night. we leave on monday.
we’re really excited!
